Be positive. Period.

This week's blog has been particularly tough to write. Not because I do not see myself as positive, far from it. I am super-duper positive...

Okay fine, I am not in the Pollyanna and Noddy category, but I would not describe myself as sceptic, pessimistic or negative. A client even called me 'realistic' this week, which in some people's view is very close to cynical. He meant 'not idealistic'.

So here is the challenge I am grappling with: the positive vs. the negative. All of it, energy,  influences, vibes, personas, auras, you name it - the stuff people project, say, do. All of it.

In my daily dealings with hectically heavy emotions and complex loaded decisions, I do find it tough. How do you manage the stuff we see, feel, experience - consciously or not? How do you ensure you do not get sucked in? Or as a wise client put it, how do you not lose your joy?

There are lots of research done on the effect of positive/negative energy on groups, organisations and business, and then subsequently on the bottom-line. So apart from the obvious reason to 'protect' yourself and actively manage your own state or mind-set, it is phenomenally important to business success.

I was a little amused earlier this week when a comment was made that my reaction towards the disciplinary behaviour of a colleague at a client was "unexpectedly harsh". You see, people often see my role as soft, bringing the empathy, feeling and support. And yes, that is part of it, but I cannot tolerate non-contributive negativity. It is just bad. Negativity sucks the life out of everything: individuals taking initiative, team cohesiveness, a collaborative culture. Everything.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not talking about having to deal with difficult and uncomfortable emotions. As taxing as that might be, it serves a purpose. It is usually very necessary. It contributes. Negativity does not contribute. It blames, complains, stirs without contribution. It is toxic.

Now that I have said my bit, here is what you could do about negativity: If it is your mind-set - stop and change. If it is around you - get out, avoid it, protect yourself, change it. But allowing it is destructive, and that is unacceptable.

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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Engage with change

When my husband really wants me to understand something, he starts using my consulting lingo - words like 'engage' and 'unpack’ and ‘emotionally taxing’'. You know, very mushy concepts trying to sound less mushy. And yes, mushy is a proper word too...

Doing what I do, I hear all the change related clichés almost daily: "The more things change, the more it stays the same"; "They/he/she/it/the country will never change". And a nice acceptance one: "A change is as good as a holiday".

I usually explain change in this way: If you think change, think loss. Initially it sounds weird, but if you compare the process of acceptance of severe loss to acceptance of change, there are lots of similarities. Also, it helps you understand the change pain better.

The other good thing about change is that we become 'change fit'. And all the sporties reading this think: "Really?!". Yes, really. We measure change readiness as part of the culture survey, and it is very easy to spot a group or team that deals with change often -those pockets that have all the necessary coping strategies in place to embrace change quickly and effectively.

However, like with fitness, you have different kinds of fitness. I can do yoga for hours on end, but ask me to run up a few flights of stairs and I want to pass out. Similarly your team may be able to adapt very quickly to daily changes, but larger longer term change may throw them off completely.

The other interesting dynamic in change management is that we often underestimate change. As a leader you may implement something that in your mind is minute, but the people around you are completely not buying into it, and then you wonder: "What's that about? This is really not a big deal!"

On a personal level, dealing with change is just as unpredictable. Similarly to the loss acceptance process, when dealing with change our emotions jump quite unexpectedly from anger/frustration/resistance, (back) to denial, and then possibly to moments of complete acceptance and participation within the change. Then again to the sadness/depression/disengagement state. And that is okay.

I could share with you lots of stories of how different organisations approached changes such as new IT systems, different tendering strategies, sections in a business becoming cost centres, management shuffles, restructuring, etc. etc. To spot the change around us is not that difficult. To understand and see where you are deep within the change, now that my friend, is a different story. Because if you could just see it, you could manage the change 'pain'. 

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V    

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Gripping stuff, I tell ya!

When I hit my lowest of lows in my parenting 'career' earlier this week, I started thinking about purpose and passion. I absolutely totally love, love, love my kids. Please do not get me wrong. I just know that parenting is not where I do my best work.

I am not even sure purpose is a prerequisite to proper parenting. So I must admit I do feel highly intimidated and pretty useless when I see and listen how some other people do it. These are mostly moms that have chosen parenting as their thing - they are passionate about it (I mean you can hear it in the way they debate and talk about stuff that can just not hold my attention) and they see it as their life purpose. Awesome!

Personally, being a mom is part of my identity, but my personal vision holds more than that. I believe there are reasons for our existence. A contribution to be made. What exactly this looks like, changes, but the direction is clear. As clear as I am hoping my morning flight's female pilot is about our destination. Still not an everyday career for a woman, I am sure she had to overcome countless challenges to live her passion and make her personal vision a reality.

I had an amazing 'bon voyage lunch' yesterday with a long term client on her way to Geneva. Set to influence large scale international environmental and political challenges. Living her passion and purpose, another step in realising her personal vision.

It is not just the girls that ponder on this, and refocus their efforts. I see it daily, phenomenal male business leaders, engineers, writers, you name it - checking that they are still personal purpose driven and at the end of the day making a difference. Contributing. What this picture entails is what I find fascinating. The individual's end goal and total beingness and how that fits the business vision and organisational mix, I love that. Being able to influence that is where I contribute, and get my kick, my fix. Now that to me is gripping stuff, my passion, my thing. What is yours?

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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Level up!

Consulting in the OD (organisation development) space automatically implies talking about learning and personal growth opportunities, development areas, sometimes studying. In general: bettering yourself. Looking at ways to increase and improve your contribution, and of course weighing up your contribution and what it is worth.

If someone indicates that he/she is keen to formally study something, whether it is a diploma, certificate or degree of some sort, I am always keen to understand why? What is the motivation behind this? Is it an ego thing, or self-confidence issue – meaning this person needs to have the qualification to feel heard, or validated or to be able to intimidate? Or what is the real need behind it?

On the other hand, if the person is not keen to study, or do a course or training, or any sort of self-development, I find it even more challenging! What is the motive here? Does this person honestly think he/she knows enough, sufficiently, everything there is to know? If so, there is an even bigger ‘ego thing’ at play, or self-confidence issue brewing.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not implying that we all need to continuously attend courses, seminars or workshop, left right and centre. I just think, be open to a learning opportunity – whatever the format.

Obviously there are also levels, or depths of learning, to consider as this influence the contribution. At the end of the day it is the application of the learning that is critical. What sometimes scares me is when I see very senior people in organisations firstly not being open to learning, and secondly not being able to use the learning. The person would pass the recollection or recognition phase, and even the comprehension and understanding phase of learning, but that is it. No application. No further thought.  No contribution. And that is just sad, and if I may – a waste. Even more so if there is so much potential or talent to contribute.

The irony is that the contribution/creative/innovative phase is available or open for all, but it takes something else than perceived intelligence. So it is not just about the course, or MBA, or PhD. I like what Albert Einstein said: “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.”

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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It's all about the money...

Not!

I have a client that has a saying (his dad's): "Men fight about two things: the one is women..." And the other? Money, of course. As much as I do not particularly want to talk about financial or economic worth and the relation to self worth, we would be ignoring the elephant in the room.

I mostly work in the private sector, where shareholding (read dividends), directorship (read status and power), bonuses and salaries are critical. Reward and recognition. This is all just dandy - great basic motivational tools. Where I get my knickers in a twist is when the remuneration stuff is directly linked to the personal development stuff.

The reason? People lie about their development needs, true feelings, real contribution and personal aspirations when they know it is linked to da mulla. Please note: I do not blame them at all. We all, always, want more money, whether in the form of dividends, bonuses or salary increases. The more money, the merrier.

Over the weekend I facilitated a workshop on self worth. What made this session interesting was that this was a group of women, mostly unemployed, but contributing tremendously to various communities and upliftment initiatives. In this instance the value of their contribution had no economic value for them. In my view their self value and self worth were mostly quite high, regardless of the lack of remuneration.

On the other side of the coin, in business or society, we often see people feeling inferior or over confident/arrogant because of their financial standing. Status and often power are being linked to financial wealth. The part that gets to me is when poor self worth leads to poor economic worth. In other words, you are not being paid fairly (market related, contribution related) because you, in essence, think that this is what you deserve.

Please do not storm into your manager's office after reading this and demand that increase because, like the L'Oreal ladies, 'you are worth it'! You might well be, my point is just that there could be a link between lack of self worth and lack of appropriate financial reward. And if it needs fixing, it needs fixing.

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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Looking good, feeling great!

During our carefree varsity days we used to say this all the time. Now, sleep deprived, often over extended, far less groomed, I find it not so easy to say.

While putting lipstick on one morning on our way to school (and work) one of the kids wanted to know 'why on earth would you put that stuff on your face?!' I explained that it makes me look a little prettier. The response: 'Really? You don't need it mom.' Well trained, hey?

I do believe beauty comes from within, and don't judge a book by it's cover, etc. etc. However, physical appearance makes a difference, whether we like it or not. It affects our confidence, mood, and whether we are indeed 'feeling great!'

In my line of work I am privileged to meet lots of different people of all ages, shapes and sizes with a variety of circumstances, attributes and histories. In my view 'looking good' has very little to do with any of that. It is something else. Something people sense, or feel drawn to, maybe something people see in you they can connect with.

Still, I do not want to underplay the importance of looking after yourself, because people notice that stuff. So maybe enquiring the help of a professional to assess your current 'visual state of affairs' is not such a bad idea after all. Or even being open to a fresh, funky new hairstyle (or even beard-style, however the case may be) could really give you some spunk.

I went to a kiddies party recently where there were quite a few interesting looking characters. While staring (sorry, this was quite extreme), I heard a comment from another party goer - 'Do some people not have mirrors?'

Personally, I love seeing uniqueness and character in personal appearance. And I know that it can be just as limiting or off-putting to over groom as it is to look a bit off. Somewhere between being your best comfortable self, and not underutilising your physical strengths, lays your ideal image.

Who knows, maybe now is a great time to try something new or even bold? (Pun intended.)

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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Adults only

Mature. Immature. Premature.

I have been pondering over these three words, mostly due to my exposure to the clash of the mature and the immature.

In my experience you find mature or evolved organisations (the internal workings, the people behaviour, the culture of a business). And then you find those businesses that are infant-like. Immature.

The thing with culture is that it is very much driven by the leaders, similar to a family set-up. Depending on the values and style of the parents/leaders, they will consciously or not decide on the accepted behaviours and norms, creating a mature or immature (or something in between) work space.

So where does the conflict come from? We are after all adults... I wish!

As much as it is a daily struggle to help my kids see that it is their responsibility to look after their stuff, do their homework and chores, in essence 'take ownership', it is a very similar challenge managers face.

And just for the record, in the adult world maturity is not necessarily related to age, experience or qualifications. It is a mind-set.

Also, I know that 'immature' organisations can really frustrate 'mature' staff. In these environments the leaders set autocratic and controlling parameters. They say (or think) things like: "You are here to do as you are told" - read: "Do not think, ask questions, or use initiative."

The result in the long run? A highly frustrated, under-utilised workforce.

Yes, I know the risk of over-exposing staff prematurely is just as bad. Timing is a challenge. It is very tricky, maybe even an art, knowing when to let go. To trust. Like with kids, you have to step back at some point, and also let them face the consequences or maybe, with a little luck, let them enjoy the success.

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

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