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Dr Mariheca Otto Director B.Com (Hons: Industrial Psychology and Sociology), HED, M.Com and PhD in Business Management Dr Mariheca Otto is the face behind the Motto brand. She has delivered papers at conferences such as the ICCM, hosted by the Industrial Psychology Department of Stellenbosch University, and the South African Institute of Management Scientists' (SAIMS) annual conferences. Her research is not only published in academic publications, but also in newspaper articles. She has lecturing experience. She also has consulting and management experience in local government and various service industries. Staff related issues is her chosen field of expertise because she believes this is an organisation's number one tool to increase staff performance which generally results in increased profits.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Love thy self

On a daily basis setting boundaries of some sort comes up as a theme. Whether it is a client struggling to manage an over-powering and manipulative boss or colleague, or seeing mom-friends feeling guilty when taking time away from the family.

In my opinion the boundary challenge has a direct link to the stability of the self-esteem of the individual. However, what moms tend to do is either blame their husbands or kids for abusing them or become the martyr of some sort - with a well developed guilt-story. You know the story: "I am a working mom, I am already missing out on so much, there is no way I can use my spare time on something self indulgent..." And of course that story will have a strong link to spoiling the kids and evidence of some lack of self-care, i.e. not eating well, not going for medical check-ups, nor taking time to exercise, pamper or relax.

Being able to guard your 'self nurturing time slot' can be as tricky as guarding your sense of self at work. It is particularly evident when there is a personality or leadership style clash in management or project teams, with little tolerance of differences, and appreciation of diversity in both strengths and weaknesses.

When putting effective teams together, a critical step in building the team relationships is finding commonality in the individuals. Unfortunately when differences/conflict happens - as it should in healthy functioning relationships - these common interests and connections are easily forgotten, where it could be used as a reminder of the 'oneness'.

Another key element of healthy relationships is feeling safe enough to be vulnerable. Sadly the moment an individual feels threatened, usually due to the conflict, the possibility of healthy vulnerability disappears. I am not talking about having to (over)share gory dirty details that makes everyone cringe, I am talking about feeling safe enough to admit weaknesses, failures and ask for advice.

In closing, please allow me to quote researcher Brene Brown:
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V
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