Square up
With some
people it is so obvious how they see themselves: personality traits, mood,
agenda. An open book, I tell you! They almost completely communicate through
their bodies.
Research
will tell you that when people interact, we ‘read’ a lot more in the physical
experience and observation than in the words.
Some time
ago a close family member had a tiff with one of my kids who, at the then age
of two, primarily communicated with his body. The grown-up, a committed
non-body language reader, could for the life of him not see what this little boy was telling
him. It took an almost full family intervention to convince the grown-up of the
toddlers plans and motives. He did not use words, it was visible in his body.
I understand
it is not the best thing to make assumptions and conclusions based only on what
is visible. However, we do it all the time. It is a reality. When someone
enters the room slouching, what do you assume? Tired, depressed, sad, low
self-esteem… The list goes on.
Interestingly,
in yoga, one of the very effective mood lifting techniques are back-bends.
Again, there is a physical and emotional connection.
I went
through quite a taxing and an emotionally challenging time not too long ago.
When I went for my maintenance visit at my BSR-guy (Body Stress Release), he made a comment on how my shoulders were in
a bit of a slouch. And have I noticed how the elderly enfold as if to protect
the heart?
When dealing
with clients, I have seen so many times how the person that seems happy,
confident and passionate will get the promotion, or the job, or the praise, or
the raise. Decisions are often not only consciously made on the facts, nor the
logic - the left brain stuff, but also based on all the mushy, perception,
touchy-feely stuff.
I am a firm
believer of managing perceptions, not as a means to manipulate, but to sketch
the most accurate picture of who and what you are – what you have to
contribute. So let’s ‘square up’.
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