Being difficult

This week I learnt a not-so-nice lesson about myself - I cannot stop myself from challenging solutions imposed. Unfortunately this is not an ideal quality considering the consulting space I operate in. Partly my rebellious nature of not just 'taking' a solution or plan, and partly my pressing need to HAVE to think about the issue myself forces me to start asking questions. I suppose often irritating, maybe even intimidating and uncomfortable questions. Of course this does not mean that I may come up with a better solution or idea, I just have this pressing need to understand, or okay then, challenge the solution. Test it, so to speak.

My 3 year old's mantra is "Don't tell me!" He also does not want to be told what to do. The people close to us found interesting ways to 'tell' us - to ensure our buy-in. My all-time favourite mommy-trick is giving the two (solutions) options: "Are you wearing the green or blue top?" Or my husband's 'question' most evenings: "Do you want to bath the kids or make dinner?" Very sly, but effective. We feel not only consulted, but as if we had a choice, we were not told what needs to happen.

Which brings me to my "a-ha" moment. I experienced one of the most frustrating, uncomfortable and embarrassing meetings earlier this week. In my consulting career I have experienced a variety of, let's call them 'uniquely challenging', clients and consulting colleagues. I suspect that this severe sense of dread was most likely only my experience, as the present management team and other consultants seemed quite used to the inappropriate, almost emotionally abusive behaviour of the client.

When reflecting on the meeting, I realised why it was such a horrible experience for me. I was not allowed the space to contribute, question, 'be difficult'. We were 'told'.

Without saying it, the client basically told all of us present to not think, or challenge the solutions given. I know in having to live your best life, one of the key skills to realise your unique personal vision is to be able to challenge solutions and think more. Your self-perception of this skill is also measured by the Motto Individual Assessment http://goo.gl/J4jfg on our website.