Feeling looked after

All of us want to feel 'looked after'.

I see this so often, especially in the consulting work that I do. Recently I sat in a meeting at a client where staff losses were discussed. The topic came up because a smart and talented, maybe a little arrogant, young man resigned.

I did not get the sense that management or any of his colleagues saw this coming. In the exit interview he suggested that he did not really have a future in the company and his interests or opinions were not valued. At this point you may think, "Ah yes, he is arrogant." The irony is, in all the research (with Motto Survey tool) that I do at various clients, this issue for staff comes up without fail. They do not feel 'looked after'. They want their voices to be heard in the organisation, and they want to know where they are going in their careers.

When I share this staff need with management they generally get very irritated - "What, so I have to stroke their ego's now?!" or "Nobody asks me 'Dear Mr MD, are you feeling stimulated, rewarded and valued?' Oh no, I just have to get on with it!"

In my opinion we have to take full responsibility for our own careers, sense of belonging and personal development, so I get the frustration of my MD friend completely. Unfortunately that does not take away that 'looked after' need.

Early on in my relationship with my husband we agreed that when I felt vulnerable and had the need to feel (extra!) adored, I would tell him. So every now and then I would ask, "Darling, so tell me how pretty am I?" and then I would enjoy being soaked with compliments. Arrogant? No way! Being looked after.

The same strategy could work in terms of this 'looked after' or support need. This concept of empowering ourselves with the necessary support systems in our lives is one of the elements of the Motto Model http://goo.gl/cNnpy  that we need to put in place in realising our personal vision.