The story of the middle finger

More than 2 years ago I hurt my finger opening a door at a hotel where I was for a conference. Not thinking much of it I went back to the conference and carried on. A few weeks thereafter the first knuckle of my middle finger started turning red and were swollen. For two years I ignored the pain and discomfort and just kept “pushing” it straight. What I did not realise was that I was actually wearing the joint bone to such an extent that when I finally got to a doctor earlier this year I had to get a “screw” to stabilise my finger joint.

As ridiculous as this was, and by now you would have thought that I would have learnt the lesson: “You need to look after yourself, e.g. go to a doctor when you have pain.” I was not getting it. The second time I went back to the “bone doctor” (and this is not a sangoma) my finger was still not healing, this was about 20 weeks after the operation. He suggested that I schedule another operation to replace the current screw with a bigger screw! This of course made a lot of logical and medical sense, but that was when I finally realised that I have to start saying “no”. So I did, I got him to give me another month and then we could reconsider.

I did not know how I was going to get my finger to heal, but I knew that this finger story was getting out of hand I had to start seeing the wood for the trees. Life was trying very hard to teach me something. In the Motto Model the third construct deals with self of personal worth. Knowing how to say no and actually doing it forms part of these elements. Pardon the pun but my screwed, stiff middle finger is a symbol to me of my journey this year or having to learn how to value myself (and my finger) enough to say no to firstly the second operation, but also in the healing process having to say no to more pressure, constant nagging requests, and spending time on myself in order to recover.

How does the story end?  Well after doing all sorts of very interesting and “out-of-the-box” things my finger healed miraculously, much to the surprise of the orthopaedic surgeon. And my screwed middle finger will for the rest of my life be a symbol of valuing myself enough to be able to say no when it is time to say no.

You can do the Individual Assessment on our website to see to what extent you are valuing yourself in relation to living your best life and realising your life purpose.