Letting go 

Often we find ourselves holding on to beliefs that are not working for us.

A few weeks ago at my coaching circle I finally realised that the beliefs I held of myself and my relationship with a close family member were poisonous. Whenever I would think of the time I would have to spend with this person (let's call her Stella) during the upcoming holidays I would get very anxious, angry and judgmental.

The whole year I mentally 'prepared' myself for the confrontational conversation I would have with Stella. I had all my arguments lined up, how she had to change and how I would help her see how wrong she is, and what a problem her behaviour is not only to me, but also to my husband and kids.

I truly believed that she would see my point and change. Very simple. During the 'check-in' session I realised how much emotional energy and time I was spending, wasting on not letting go of this belief that she would change.

An older, wiser friend told me once that when you have to let go of something that is holding you back on your life journey, it helps to blow bubbles. I visualised all the frustration and anger associated with my 'non-serving' belief as I blew the bubbles and saw them pop.

To my husband's great relief and joy I did not talk about all the things Stella would be doing 'wrong' or inadequately in my eyes all the way on our 14 hour drive this holiday. I am able to relax and enjoy the time with my family, not constantly expecting a different behaviour.

Being able to manage your own beliefs forms part of the Self-management tools construct that is measured with the Motto Individual Assessment on our website. This assessment will give you an indication to what extent you perceive yourself to be living your best life and the areas you can develop to assist you on this journey.