Be positive. Period.

This week's blog has been particularly tough to write. Not because I do not see myself as positive, far from it. I am super-duper positive...

Okay fine, I am not in the Pollyanna and Noddy category, but I would not describe myself as sceptic, pessimistic or negative. A client even called me 'realistic' this week, which in some people's view is very close to cynical. He meant 'not idealistic'.

So here is the challenge I am grappling with: the positive vs. the negative. All of it, energy,  influences, vibes, personas, auras, you name it - the stuff people project, say, do. All of it.

In my daily dealings with hectically heavy emotions and complex loaded decisions, I do find it tough. How do you manage the stuff we see, feel, experience - consciously or not? How do you ensure you do not get sucked in? Or as a wise client put it, how do you not lose your joy?

There are lots of research done on the effect of positive/negative energy on groups, organisations and business, and then subsequently on the bottom-line. So apart from the obvious reason to 'protect' yourself and actively manage your own state or mind-set, it is phenomenally important to business success.

I was a little amused earlier this week when a comment was made that my reaction towards the disciplinary behaviour of a colleague at a client was "unexpectedly harsh". You see, people often see my role as soft, bringing the empathy, feeling and support. And yes, that is part of it, but I cannot tolerate non-contributive negativity. It is just bad. Negativity sucks the life out of everything: individuals taking initiative, team cohesiveness, a collaborative culture. Everything.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not talking about having to deal with difficult and uncomfortable emotions. As taxing as that might be, it serves a purpose. It is usually very necessary. It contributes. Negativity does not contribute. It blames, complains, stirs without contribution. It is toxic.

Now that I have said my bit, here is what you could do about negativity: If it is your mind-set - stop and change. If it is around you - get out, avoid it, protect yourself, change it. But allowing it is destructive, and that is unacceptable.

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

Like Follow

Engage with change

When my husband really wants me to understand something, he starts using my consulting lingo - words like 'engage' and 'unpack’ and ‘emotionally taxing’'. You know, very mushy concepts trying to sound less mushy. And yes, mushy is a proper word too...

Doing what I do, I hear all the change related clichés almost daily: "The more things change, the more it stays the same"; "They/he/she/it/the country will never change". And a nice acceptance one: "A change is as good as a holiday".

I usually explain change in this way: If you think change, think loss. Initially it sounds weird, but if you compare the process of acceptance of severe loss to acceptance of change, there are lots of similarities. Also, it helps you understand the change pain better.

The other good thing about change is that we become 'change fit'. And all the sporties reading this think: "Really?!". Yes, really. We measure change readiness as part of the culture survey, and it is very easy to spot a group or team that deals with change often -those pockets that have all the necessary coping strategies in place to embrace change quickly and effectively.

However, like with fitness, you have different kinds of fitness. I can do yoga for hours on end, but ask me to run up a few flights of stairs and I want to pass out. Similarly your team may be able to adapt very quickly to daily changes, but larger longer term change may throw them off completely.

The other interesting dynamic in change management is that we often underestimate change. As a leader you may implement something that in your mind is minute, but the people around you are completely not buying into it, and then you wonder: "What's that about? This is really not a big deal!"

On a personal level, dealing with change is just as unpredictable. Similarly to the loss acceptance process, when dealing with change our emotions jump quite unexpectedly from anger/frustration/resistance, (back) to denial, and then possibly to moments of complete acceptance and participation within the change. Then again to the sadness/depression/disengagement state. And that is okay.

I could share with you lots of stories of how different organisations approached changes such as new IT systems, different tendering strategies, sections in a business becoming cost centres, management shuffles, restructuring, etc. etc. To spot the change around us is not that difficult. To understand and see where you are deep within the change, now that my friend, is a different story. Because if you could just see it, you could manage the change 'pain'. 

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V    

Like Follow

Gripping stuff, I tell ya!

When I hit my lowest of lows in my parenting 'career' earlier this week, I started thinking about purpose and passion. I absolutely totally love, love, love my kids. Please do not get me wrong. I just know that parenting is not where I do my best work.

I am not even sure purpose is a prerequisite to proper parenting. So I must admit I do feel highly intimidated and pretty useless when I see and listen how some other people do it. These are mostly moms that have chosen parenting as their thing - they are passionate about it (I mean you can hear it in the way they debate and talk about stuff that can just not hold my attention) and they see it as their life purpose. Awesome!

Personally, being a mom is part of my identity, but my personal vision holds more than that. I believe there are reasons for our existence. A contribution to be made. What exactly this looks like, changes, but the direction is clear. As clear as I am hoping my morning flight's female pilot is about our destination. Still not an everyday career for a woman, I am sure she had to overcome countless challenges to live her passion and make her personal vision a reality.

I had an amazing 'bon voyage lunch' yesterday with a long term client on her way to Geneva. Set to influence large scale international environmental and political challenges. Living her passion and purpose, another step in realising her personal vision.

It is not just the girls that ponder on this, and refocus their efforts. I see it daily, phenomenal male business leaders, engineers, writers, you name it - checking that they are still personal purpose driven and at the end of the day making a difference. Contributing. What this picture entails is what I find fascinating. The individual's end goal and total beingness and how that fits the business vision and organisational mix, I love that. Being able to influence that is where I contribute, and get my kick, my fix. Now that to me is gripping stuff, my passion, my thing. What is yours?

Motto Model: http://goo.gl/cNnpy and Motto Individual Assessment: http://goo.gl/UhC7V

Like Follow