Speaking your mind

Some people struggle to say what they feel or think. They hold back. They do not share their emotions.

This is something my 3 year old son and I cannot do. We have to express ourselves. Our challenge lies in identifying the true feeling we need to express.

Recently I read that often the emotion 'anger' can be a mask for another underlying emotion, or true feeling. Initially when I read it I did not completely 'get' it until I woke up one morning being very angry with everyone and everything in my household. Dare I say irrational?! When I started talking to my husband about what was 'wrong', none of the issues were really issue-enough to be that angry.

Then I realised that I had anxiety and fear about something completely non-related to my reasons for my burst of 'anger'.

Similarly my 3 year old has also been very angry lately, and sometimes even aggressive. When we started looking at what the 'true feelings' were that he needed to recognise we realised that he was struggling to find the words or to see the emotions he is suppressing. We can see that my dear son feels excluded from the big brothers' play, he feels jealous of his incredibly cute baby sister and possibly a little anxious about starting at a new pre-school.

Both of us opted to express the 'angry' feeling, and not the true feeling. We can assert ourselves wonderfully (or not so wonderfully...) when we talk about the frustrations related to being angry. We really struggle to express our true feelings. And those are the ones all of us need to get out more often.

It is difficult to see when your perceptions about your own behaviour is not a reflexion of the reality. The mindset measurement tool we have on our website, http://goo.gl/UhC7V , can help you see where you might be holding yourself back on your journey to living your best life.